What is Men's Work?

written by Gonçalo Luz

In the path of self-development and exploration, men’s work has risen in the last decades as a life-changing journey for men looking to cultivate self-awareness and improvement. But what exactly is men’s work?

Many men often find themselves stuck in their journeys, waiting for the right moment, the perfect opportunity, the ideal circumstances to unfold. Many ponder whether the key to happiness lies in securing the perfect job, finding the ideal partner, stumbling upon the perfect time to pursue passions and dreams. It's a common human tendency to anticipate that someday everything will fall seamlessly into place. But how often does that day truly arrive? 

Rather than confronting the pain and challenges that life presents, men tend to close themselves off, creating a barrier against the raw emotions that come with it. The fears and limitations that exist within are often concealed, leading to a perpetual state of stagnation. However, delving into the depths of these fears and facing them head-on, can be the key to unlocking one's full potential and achieving meaningful goals. This is where men’s work comes into play.

Drawing from ancient tribal practices, and tailored to fit modern day obstacles, men’s work encompasses an approach to comprehending and nurturing the diverse dimensions of masculinity. This article delves into the beginnings, practices, principles, and deep benefits that men’s work brings to well being and overall men’s health.

Participants engage in a men’s work exercise, during a men’s retreat in the Indian Himalayas

Men’s Work

Men's work is a transformative process that aims to guide men born in men’s bodies towards their purpose, revealing their true potential while overcoming obstacles to stay on the path. It involves a deep exploration of one's values, goals, and a commitment to intentional and purposeful living. It is done through cultivating brotherhood and authentic relating, while exploring oneself deep, with the help of others. Being part of a mens group or a men’s circle that is normally both supportive and challenging, while fostering genuine relationships with other men, is normally at the core of any kind of men’s work. Participating in men’s retreats and men’s work courses, deepens the understanding, the tools, and the work itself. 

Men gather around the fire, like in ancient times, during a men’s retreat

Origins

Throughout history, the involvement of men in community and family tasks and responsibilities, has an historical background. Culturally, these responsibilities were often intertwined with rituals and coming of age ceremonies. These rituals served as guiding principles to help men as they faced the challenges of life, symbolising their transition from youth into adulthood. In ancient communities older men played a role in passing on their wisdom, values and skills to the younger generation fostering a sense of direction and belonging.

In the last decades, specially since the 1960’s, the notion of men’s work has evolved from these rituals and ceremonies, to address the complexities that arise in modern society. Drawing inspiration from fields such as psychology, spirituality and personal growth, it seeks to assist men born in men’s bodies in navigating the intricacies of their identity, relationships and finding purpose.

Meditation practice in a men’s retreat

Importance

Mens work plays an important role, for different reasons. It provides an opportunity for men to explore and understand their emotions, confront limiting societal expectations, and express themselves in an authentic way. In a world that often imposes masculine stereotypes on men, men’s work presents a narrative that values vulnerability, empathy and connection.

Engaging in this practice is essential for cultivating healthier relationships, as it encourages men to develop emotional intelligence and effective communication skills. By challenging unhealthy masculine patterns, and endorsing a healthier and more mature form of masculinity, men’s work contributes to forging a society where men feel empowered to embrace their authentic masculine expression, while fully embracing their role as men respectfully and consciously aware of others.

Main Tools and Practices

• Men’s Groups and Men’s Circles

  Men's work normally involves participation in mens groups where men gather in circles to share their experiences, challenges, and successes. Sharing in a mens group is not just a powerful and healthy way for a man to to voice out his inner landscape, but also build self-awareness, specially in an environment where body and emotional awareness are also cultivated. Mirroring through feedback can also happen in these mens groups, to accelerate a man’s process of self-awareness. Through sharing in mens circles, men learn from each other’s wisdom and experience. Mens groups provide an important base for community and support, breaking down the isolation that many men tend to feel.

• Shadow Work

  Men's work involves delving into the unconscious aspects of oneself, addressing suppressed emotions, behaviours, patterns and engrained beliefs. By confronting and integrating these hidden parts (shadows) of themselves, men can cultivate greater self-understanding, awareness and authenticity, leading to healthier relationships and deeper personal growth.

• Processing Tools

  Incorporating elements of psychology, men's work may involve guided individual tools in mens group sessions. These guided exercises help individuals explore their own triggers, stories, emotions, thus understanding behavioral patterns, developing self-awareness and promoting self-responsibility.

• Yoga and Meditation

  Practices that promote body-awareness (also called embodied practices) and self-awareness, such as yoga and meditation are often integrated into men's work. These techniques help men to stay present, develop overall healthy habits, and cultivate a deeper connection with themselves.

• Rituals and Ceremonies

  Drawing inspiration from ancient traditions, men's work can sometimes include modern rituals and ceremonies. These symbolic acts, many times part of a more comprehensive men’s retreat program, help men connect within, set intentions, mark personal milestones, and strengthen one’s sense of purpose.

• Men’s Retreats

  These immersive gatherings create a space for men to take a break from every day life, contemplate and evolve. By stepping out of their routines and stepping into a supportive environment, surrounded by like-minded men, individuals can explore and develop self awareness, address and work on personal obstacles, and bond with other men going through similar journeys. Through sharing in mens circles, exercises and hands on activities, men’s retreats offer life changing moments that promote well being, connection and self discovery. Emphasizing mindfulness, and embodied practices, men’s retreats provide a powerful chance for men to gain new perspectives, forge deep connections and map out a path towards deeper purpose and fulfilment.
  
  

Morning yoga during a men’s retreat

Men Off Track/On Track

In men’s work, the concept of being "on track" or "off track" sometimes serves as a compass in navigating the intricate journey of self-discovery and growth. Being "on track" implies focus, discipline, progress, and a commitment to aligning actions with values and purpose. On the other side, being "off track" signifies distraction, lack of focus, and a disconnection from goals and purpose.

Taking the Hero’s Journey

Drawing inspiration from Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey, men's work aligns with the narrative structure found in myths and stories worldwide. The journey consists of four main phases: Departure, Initiation, the Ordeal and Return. Men are inspired to align with their deeper purpose, encouraged to focus on their objectives, and walk the steps to pursue them, thus embarking on an adventure, facing the challenges and the pain, overcoming obstacles, returning home transformed, holding the gifts of their learnings along the way. Every time an individual sets off on a quest to pursue what he wants, he embarks on a new Hero’s Journey.

In men’s work, the Hero's Journey becomes a metaphor for personal growth, encouraging men to choose the path of "chosen sacrifice" that leads to self-confidence. It's a journey where pain is understood and embraced as an integral part of the process, a necessary step towards authentic self-realization.

Hero’s Journey diagram

In men’s work, the quest for what one desires becomes the catalyst for deep transformation - men, as heroes in their own stories, launch themselves into the Hero's Journey or risk perishing in unfulfilled potential, sitting in their couches, experiencing a slow and painful death of the soul.

Principles of Men’s Work

The principles of men's work revolve around authenticity, self-accountability, leadership, direction, and support.

• Authenticity

  valued for its role in fostering integrity and honesty, encouraging emotional intelligence and self-awareness.

• Self-accountability

  upheld as men take full responsibility for their feelings and the impact of their choices on themselves and others.

• Self-Leadership

  central to men's work, self-leadership emphasizes the transformative power of leading by example.

• Direction

  is sought through exploring and living from the deepest purpose, connecting spiritually, and being in service to others.

• Support

  is a system provided by men's work through mens groups, that creates a safe space for men to share, learn, grow, and lead change within a challenging yet inclusive network.

Core Values of Men’s Work

The basic core values of men's work are:

• Responsibility

• Authenticity

• Compassion

• Generosity

• Integrity

• Leadership

• Respect

• Consistency

• Reliability
  

These core values of men’s work are meant to reinforce and shape the character of men engaged in their own transformative journey, guiding them towards a life of purpose, meaning, leadership and fulfilment, while being in service to others.

Men’s group gathered in retreat, in the Indian Himalayas

Benefits of Men’s Work

• Self-Awareness

  Central to all benefits is the constant exercise of self-exploration and awareness that men acquire with men’s work. This doesn’t just deepen their self-knowledge, but along with it the ability to recognize patterns, habits, limiting beleifs, therefore setting the ground for constant improvement and transformation. Without proper self-awareness, none of the other benefits can flourish.

• Self-Acceptance

  Along with self-awareness comes self-acceptance. As men journey within, as well as without, together with fellow men, they begin to accept their human-ness, their frailties, as well as recognizing their biggest gifts and habilities. Self-accetance means embracing both light and darkness, bringing shadow to the surface and thus embracing oneself as a whole.

• Self-Responsibility

  With men’s work, men learn to take full charge of their lives. This includes taking responsibility for their self-awareness, emotions, conduct and accountability, in their relationship with themselves and with others.

• Resilience

  As part of the process of self-awareness, acceptance and responsibility, individuals start recognizing and processing their emotions with ease, enabling them to become emotionally resilient. This increased resilience helps men navigate the challenges of life, with a centered sense of self-responsibility for their emotions and behaviour.

• Improved Relationships

  Through the cultivation of communication skills and empathy, men’s work enriches the quality of relationships. Men gain an understanding of their needs as well as those of others fostering healthier connections.

• Purpose and Mission

  Central to each individual journey in men’s work is a reflection on one’s sense of mission, purpose, and fulfilment, often connected with one’s role in serving others, and helping to build a better, and healthier society. This newfound clarity allows for decision making leading to a fulfilling life.

• Greater Life Satisfaction 

  As men delve within and establish their values, goals and overall sense of purpose, they often experience a heightened satisfaction in life.

Mens group gathered in a weekend men’s retreat in South Portugal

Engaging in activities that promote personal growth and challenge limiting views of masculinity, can have a profound impact on men. It not only benefits their mental health and overall well being, but also encourages them to embrace vulnerability, develop emotional intelligence, cultivate supportive relationships, and lead by example within their communities. Men’s work serves as a guiding light, helping men embark on a journey towards living a genuine and meaningful life, while redefining their beliefs on masculinity and finding their rightful place in the world.

In conclusion, men's work offers a roadmap for men seeking self-discovery, growth, and purposeful living. It provides a framework for navigating life's challenges, embracing transformation, and embodying deep values that lead to being of service to others, building a better world, and with it cultivating a more wholesome and fulfilling existence.